So here I am eating a bag of leftover Starburst Jelly Beans from Easter. Yet I sometimes wonder why I can't lose weight. Maybe this I'll start this day, I'll start this diet, I'll do this and that isn't helping. I've tried a lot of different weight loss programs and diets. I've tried Jenny, WW, Keto, and many more. I need to just do the lifestyle change that I keep hearing about. It's hard. I mean this is real life. I have my family (not an excuse, just mentioning it) and I love food. I'm beginning to think I might even use the word addicted. Like I know that I shouldn't eat that, even sometimes maybe that I'm not really even hungry, yet I eat. This week I am eating cause I know I'm starting this new lifestyle so lets get the ice cream, jelly beans, potato frenzy, chips and all that now so I can start a "new" life this weekend or Monday. Why put new in quotations, because I don't quite fully understand how to do it. Yes I get the basics, watch what you eat, exercise, yada yada....but the actual, how do I, me, Krystle, do this, that I don't fully understand. Why does food have this much control over me? Shouldn't wanting to be healthy and making sure I live longer matter. I have two kiddos and just writing that makes me cry. Why can't I control this. I love them more than anything in the world and I don't want to leave them without a mom cause I can't control what I eat. I mean what is that?! Watching people lose weight easily and me struggle has been something that makes me stop whatever I'm doing. I know I shouldn't compare but its hard. I want to be that example. I want to be the way people watch and be like, wow you did it. That's why I start, post all about it, then quietly stop posting so that they don't notice as much that I fell off the wagon again! So this, this is going to be private for now. Not even my amazing hubby will know about this yet. I feel like I need to make this more personal. DO this for me!
So lets start this. What first? Diet- Not as in lets start a diet, but what are we going to eat. Guess I will start looking. I know chips and all these snacks are a no-no. The funny thing is I like fruit, I like mashed cauliflower and baked zucchini as snacks. I need to just get it thru my head, that those chips and all that aren't worth it. I mean in reality, they aren't. My life is worth more. I know this. Plus I need to set a better example for my kids. Actually do 3 meals a day, with a healthy snack or two. I'm thinking best for me is doing 3 meals and one snack. Breakfast at 9am, lunch at 12pm, snack at 3pm and dinner at 6pm. Why am I typing this all out. So I have it for me. So I know I'm at least planning. I just need the follow through.
Exercise. I know I need to do this too. I always go for the most. Like lets do this 5 times a week for 1 hour. Why?! That crazy. I don't work out and when I do I hurt myself. Why? Because I decide to walk 5.5miles without working out. I don't pay attention to my body, my joints, the amount of weight I have on me affects all these things. Slow and Steady will win this race. Walking with the family on weekends. Starting do a dance workout or something during the week a couple times a week to start. I can do this!
So here is my starting:
BMI: 47.46
Weight: 267.9
I can't believe I am seeing these numbers. How did I get here? But here I am none the less. So my first goal is to get into Onederland! I will make it someday. It might not be tomorrow, or next month, or next year, but someday I will get there. I would LOVE to lose 2lbs a week, but would be happy with 0.5lb-1lb a week even. That is my real goal. SO losing 67.9 lbs would put me around 70 weeks...which means when my oldest starts Kindergarten, I will be there. I won't be the fat mom when they start school. Yes I think about that. I don't want to be the mom they are embarrassed to have drop them off because I am so big. SO lets do this. Lets not rub this in everyone's face. Lets do this for me.
My weight loss starts here!! See you in Onederland!
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